{"id":192,"date":"2012-04-13T15:14:00","date_gmt":"2012-04-13T20:14:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/2012\/04\/13\/loss-takes-a-toll\/"},"modified":"2012-05-01T10:08:24","modified_gmt":"2012-05-01T15:08:24","slug":"loss-takes-a-toll","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/2012\/04\/13\/loss-takes-a-toll\/","title":{"rendered":"Loss takes a toll"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Yesterday, I started to watch the movie, Telling Nicholas<\/a><\/i>, in my Loss and Grief<\/i> class.  The story is of a seven year old boy, whose mother was in one of the Twin Towers of New York, at the time of the 911 attacks.  The story is a documentary around the telling of Nicholas that his mother is missing and may never be found.<\/span>

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Just now, when I wrote this, I experienced the same that I did when I started watching the film.  I saw the burning buildings again and I was frustrated, angry, upset, concerned, filled with sorrow and had to hold back tears.  I did not loose anyone personally in the attack but like many, I can tell you exactly where I was, what I was doing, and what I was thinking right after the news.  I flashed back to that day again and I was pissed off!<\/span>

<\/span>
Okay, I have taken several deep breaths and feel much better, even a little smile, now that I am writing this down.  This morning, I was watching the news and saw a story about an East coast Police Chief that was shot in the head during a drug arrest.  He was only eight days from retirement.  I take this very personally when I hear this kind of news.  I was a police officer for nearly nine years.  Up until the time of my move to seminary, it was not unusual for me to have a nightmare of being shot at.  I would draw my gun but it would misfire.  It was always at that point I would wake up in a panic.<\/span>

<\/span>
Yesterday, I found out that a friend of mine had to put her dog down.  I really feel for her and in this case, know exactly how she feels.  I myself had to put down a dog about eight years ago.  My dog, and I say my dog because even though she was a family dog, she was mine and I belonged to her as well.  She was about 13 years old, lost much of her sight, smell and hearing and was having a difficult time in walking.  The same day she was put down, I had to put down two cats from our house.  Both had developed Leukemia and the prognosis was not good.  So, all in one single day, at one single visit, the animals were all put down.  To top that all off, both of my children were there.  My kids were about nine and eleven years old at the time.  For the longest time they blamed me for killing the animals.  I suspect that even today they hold some of those feelings, even if is just a little.  They would  not admit it directly.<\/span>

<\/span>
<\/span><\/a>
Today’s chapel service was very emotional for myself and one of my friends.  I saw them crying and I knew why.  I so badly wanted to run over to them and just hug and hold them and tell them it would be alright.  Yes, eventually it gets better but right now it hurts and hurts badly.  During the service, I felt the Holy Spirit wrap all of us into a single community of prayer.  I just cannot really describe the feeling very well.  I knew however, that Spirit was present and there was no doubt in my mind.<\/span>

<\/span>
It came time for us to be able to approach the cross, light a candle and place it in some sand filled bowls and say some prayers.  While saying my prayers, emotion just began to overwhelm me.  I was praying that the Spirit be with us all, provide comfort, healing and understanding.  I asked to be emptied and filled with the Spirit.  Well, that appears that is what happened to me.  I was filled with the Spirit and I started to let out so much that had been inside.  As I was praying and crying, someone came alongside of me and placed their hand upon my shoulder.  It was at that moment that I realized that I was crying and became aware of what was taking place.  I needed the Spirit and the touch of another with the Spirit running in them to shake me and to truly experience and know what was happening.<\/span>

<\/span>
I realized that the loss that I had experienced prior to this day, was still burning in me.<\/span>
Grieve over the loss, do not hold it back, let it out or it will come out when you least expect it.<\/span>
Not only that, holding it back can be physically damaging.  Get it over with and even if you need to dwell in the grief for a period of time, it is better than holding it in.<\/span>

<\/span>
Holy Spirit, I ask that you be the Spirit of comfort and be with those who are experiencing their losses.<\/span>

<\/span>
Amen<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yesterday, I started to watch the movie, Telling Nicholas, in my Loss and Grief class.  The story is of a seven year old boy, whose mother was in one of the Twin Towers of New York, at the time of the 911 attacks.  The story is a documentary around the telling of Nicholas that his mother is … [Read more…]<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[12,1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"entry","1":"post","2":"publish","3":"author-admin","4":"post-192","6":"format-standard","7":"category-lossandgrief","8":"category-uncategorized"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2m6h5-36","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":178,"url":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/2012\/02\/06\/superbowl-win-loss\/","url_meta":{"origin":192,"position":0},"title":"Superbowl Win….Loss","author":"Douglas Dill","date":"February 6, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Every year someone wins and someone looses. \u00a0Some people make money, some loose. \u00a0People get carried away with their\u00a0celebration\u00a0and other carried away with the grief over the loss. \u00a0Check out this article about those that were unhappy after the loss. \u00a0Their grief turned into anger and then arrest by the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Loss and Grief"","block_context":{"text":"Loss and Grief","link":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/category\/lossandgrief\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/a57.foxnews.com\/static\/managed\/img\/Sports\/396\/223\/Super20128.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":181,"url":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/2012\/02\/07\/what-is-the-top-news-today-dealing-with-grief\/","url_meta":{"origin":192,"position":1},"title":"What is the top news today dealing with grief?","author":"Douglas Dill","date":"February 7, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"For both CNN and Fox, one of the top news stories was one I spoke of in a previous post, Grief taken to the final point.\u00a0 Now it has been revealed that the man had hurt the children prior to the fire he set. \u00a0Do we need to live through\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Loss and Grief"","block_context":{"text":"Loss and Grief","link":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/category\/lossandgrief\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":177,"url":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/2012\/02\/06\/grief-taken-to-the-final-point\/","url_meta":{"origin":192,"position":2},"title":"Grief taken to the final point","author":"Douglas Dill","date":"February 6, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"I checked out Fox News. \u00a0Main headline was about a man killing himself and his sons. \u00a0There is so much more going on here. \u00a0The grief of what this man endured appears to be a major causal factor in the murder\u00a0suicide. \u00a0It is painful to see people do this. \u00a0I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Loss and Grief"","block_context":{"text":"Loss and Grief","link":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/category\/lossandgrief\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":187,"url":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/2012\/02\/29\/loss-and-gain\/","url_meta":{"origin":192,"position":3},"title":"Loss and Gain","author":"Douglas Dill","date":"February 29, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"As I gain my family back together again, one member is\u00a0experiencing\u00a0a loss and a gain at the same time. \u00a0Kris has decided to move to Dubuque this weekend. \u00a0She has a job starting on Monday, and if all works well she will stay at the job and stay living in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Loss and Grief"","block_context":{"text":"Loss and Grief","link":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/category\/lossandgrief\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":175,"url":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/2012\/02\/05\/what-is-popular-on-cnn-fox\/","url_meta":{"origin":192,"position":4},"title":"What is popular on CNN & Fox","author":"Douglas Dill","date":"February 5, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"As part of this Loss and Grief project I started. \u00a0I took a look at both the Fox News and CNN web sites under their World sections. \u00a0Here are their top stories at the same time:FoxOver 200 dead in Syrian town as UN votes down resolutionProtesters attack 7 Syrian embassies\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Loss and Grief"","block_context":{"text":"Loss and Grief","link":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/category\/lossandgrief\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":182,"url":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/2012\/02\/09\/you-must-show-griefloss-in-the-proper-way\/","url_meta":{"origin":192,"position":5},"title":"You must show grief\/loss in the proper way!","author":"Douglas Dill","date":"February 9, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"First, no no no and no, I do not believe what I am saying in the title. \u00a0There may be some more\u00a0appropriate\u00a0ways than others but we all grieve in our own ways. \u00a0However I was really taken aback when I saw an article at Yahoo Sports today. \u00a0We have a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Loss and Grief"","block_context":{"text":"Loss and 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