{"id":235,"date":"2012-07-14T17:19:51","date_gmt":"2012-07-14T22:19:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/?p=235"},"modified":"2012-07-27T08:00:29","modified_gmt":"2012-07-27T13:00:29","slug":"when-not-talking-hurts-someone-more-than-helps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/2012\/07\/14\/when-not-talking-hurts-someone-more-than-helps\/","title":{"rendered":"When not talking, hurts someone more than helps"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"It is\u00a0a difficult thing indeed to determine when to tell someone that you care for, that the things that they may do or not do, are not appropriate or cause you have feelings that are hurtful. \u00a0You care for someone so much, that keeping quiet, hurts and tears you up.\u00a0 Yet, if you tell the other person, that also hurts and tears the other person up………What to do?<\/p>\n

I know in my heart what to do but as a Christian, I have believed in my head not to hurt the other person by letting them know.\u00a0 However, in my heart as a Christian I know another way.\u00a0 It is very difficult to balance the head and the heart.\u00a0 Who should one benefit more or is there a balance?<\/p>\n

Do the actions of the person that you do not want to hurt, also effect other people?\u00a0 Do they then in turn have a departmental effect on the person you care for?\u00a0 How do you effect a change with someone and\u00a0is not hurtful but helpful?\u00a0 Can you have one with out the other.\u00a0 Maybe, however sometimes there will be some hurt to feel better.<\/p>\n

Always, we must keep in mind, that what we will say to another in helping,\u00a0should be\u00a0done out of Christian love.\u00a0 I believe that if the information provided does not come out of love, it should not be\u00a0said.\u00a0 It must also be truthful\u00a0 and planned out in such away to allow both to interact in a thoughtful conversation.\u00a0 If it is hurtful or to satisfy ones own desire to feel better, we must rethink what we are about to do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It is\u00a0a difficult thing indeed to determine when to tell someone that you care for, that the things that they may do or not do, are not appropriate or cause you have feelings that are hurtful. \u00a0You care for someone so much, that keeping quiet, hurts and tears you up.\u00a0 Yet, if you tell the … [Read more…]<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"entry","1":"post","2":"publish","3":"author-dougd","4":"post-235","6":"format-standard","7":"category-christian-love"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2m6h5-3N","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":251,"url":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/2012\/07\/30\/christian-doormat\/","url_meta":{"origin":235,"position":0},"title":"Christian Doormat","author":"Douglas Dill","date":"July 30, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant Matthew 18:21-35 (NIV '84) 21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, \u201cLord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?\u201d 22 Jesus answered, \u201cI tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.\ufeff 23 \u201cTherefore,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Christian Love"","block_context":{"text":"Christian Love","link":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/category\/christian-love\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":180,"url":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/2012\/02\/06\/rejection\/","url_meta":{"origin":235,"position":1},"title":"Rejection","author":"Douglas Dill","date":"February 6, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"To be young and step out and take that chance of asking someone out. \u00a0With all the fear of waiting for the no, but knowing all along you can't get a yes, unless you ask. \u00a0Teens and the dating game and even adults take chances of rejection all the time.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Loss and Grief"","block_context":{"text":"Loss and Grief","link":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/category\/lossandgrief\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/4.bp.blogspot.com\/-ChioJNamfgw\/ThDKGLAoHiI\/AAAAAAAAAoc\/z2aDlzdHvNo\/s320\/girl-crying.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":276,"url":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/2012\/09\/01\/just-who-are-you-talking-to\/","url_meta":{"origin":235,"position":2},"title":"Just who are you talking to?","author":"Douglas Dill","date":"September 1, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"I had the opportunity and pleasure during my CPE\u00a0experience\u00a0to meet numerous people, both in good and\u00a0troubling\u00a0situations. \u00a0I had one person that will always stand out for me. \u00a0I \u00a0first got to know him in the Emergency Department. \u00a0I will call this person \"David\". \u00a0I was asked to take David to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Faith"","block_context":{"text":"Faith","link":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/category\/faith\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/-qVhkXFZkhm8\/Tc5_eYBpSMI\/AAAAAAAAAGY\/AkdZu2hjA8U\/s1600\/CHRIST%2BEYE.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":658,"url":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/2013\/12\/19\/the-purpose-of-christmas-time-for-reconciliation\/","url_meta":{"origin":235,"position":3},"title":"The Purpose of Christmas: Time for Reconciliation","author":"Douglas Dill","date":"December 19, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Based upon the Book,\u00a0The Purpose of Christmas, by Rick Warren Audio Link Video Link Luke 2:8-14 Matthew 22:34-40 Welcome to our third Wednesday in Advent.\u00a0 It may seem like a very short Advent this year, since we only had three Wednesdays to celebrate and worship.\u00a0 As it so happens, my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Christmas"","block_context":{"text":"Christmas","link":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/category\/christmas\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/2.bp.blogspot.com\/_ISOhLl8_kTk\/STX-9TsR9II\/AAAAAAAAARc\/2ZN91TeiFp4\/s400\/The%2BPurpose%2Bof%2BChristmas%2Bbanner.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":192,"url":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/2012\/04\/13\/loss-takes-a-toll\/","url_meta":{"origin":235,"position":4},"title":"Loss takes a toll","author":"Douglas Dill","date":"April 13, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Yesterday, I started to watch the movie, Telling Nicholas, in my Loss and Grief class. \u00a0The story is of a seven year old boy,\u00a0whose\u00a0mother was in one of the Twin Towers of New York, at the time of the 911 attacks. \u00a0The story is a documentary around the telling of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Loss and Grief"","block_context":{"text":"Loss and Grief","link":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/category\/lossandgrief\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/jamesronaldwhitney.com\/images_posters\/Tell-Nic-Poster.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":580,"url":"https:\/\/www.messy-spirituality.com\/wordpress\/2013\/08\/30\/give-or-not-to-give\/","url_meta":{"origin":235,"position":5},"title":"Give or not to Give","author":"Douglas Dill","date":"August 30, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"It is a strange thing indeed to sit down with someone who walks into church and is looking for assistance.\u00a0 I am not new to speaking with strangers or evaluating needs or truth, but this was in a prior \"life\". 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